Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Celebrity Dating Game

Britney and Amy?

Since most of Hollywood has already slept together, I thought it would be nice to see some new couples. I'd love to see Kim Kardashian with Brandon Davis. He is so cute and cuddly, like a big...gummy bear. And her bottom is so big and scary like a...grizzly bear.

Oh, it's only a matter of time before Jessica Simpson falls into the hizzylicious arms of Kevin Federline. C'mon, he's the new Vanilla Ice, you can't do better than that. Plus he loves children and gold jewelry. A real catch!

Dylan McDermott and Jennifer Aniston, mark my words, these two will go out together in the near future. I looked into my crystal ball and saw it as clear as day. As clear as the split in Angelina's leather pants. On the plus side, Dylan's mom is the woman who began the Vagina Monologues so he probably knows a thing or two about...women.

Pete Doherty is the perfect partner for so many women! It's hard to narrow down the love match. He can play the field, let's start with Amy Winehouse. Please, its a couple made in crack heaven! Like you wouldn't watch the trainwreck that would be called Winerty. Dohouse?

But Britney Spears and Pete would have hours of coke filled fun! He would encourage her to do crazy things like shave her ...oh, been there. Um...he'd stand by while she whacks cars with an umbrell- oh, nevermind. But wouldn't he be so great if she decided to shop for chandeliers, er...go to Las Vegas? Throw wild parties? Drink Red Bull while dancing naked at Les Deux? Stumbling home, doing the walk of shame? Pete, come to the US! Your dream girl is waiting.

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