Thursday, November 08, 2007

Daily Dollfaces

I heard that Ellen and Portia di Rossi are on the outs...uh oh. The dog kerfluffle was a cover up for the pain of the potential relationship split!
In other news, I think bangs are a new trend. I'm considering chopping my hair but don't want to look like Buster Brown. I love Portia's side swept bangs, thats how to do it.

If you didn't know this was Madonna, wouldn't you be inclined to offer this woman some Crest White Strips for those beige teeth and a box of Feria to cover up those roots? She's had botox in her foreheard, don't deny !

One of the most beautiful women in Hollywood, Parminder Negra. I love her look.

Nicole Kidman's skin is too light, Lindsay Lohan's is too orange... so whose is just right?
Correct me if I'm wrong but a skin tone that light needs darker hair for contrast. Go back to the red! And then tell me what the deal is with Tom Cruise. Alien or human?

Kate Walsh is stunning! I love her outfit, shoes, everything, bravo!
I don't watch her new show, I prefer Addison on Grey's Anatomy.

Yikes! Christina, please lay off the heavy pancake makeup for the sake of your unborn child.
I can't stand it when women spackle on the foundation so heavy that you can't see skin. She needs a sandblaster to remove her makeup at the end of the day. Those lips! Those eyes! The heavily shellacked coif! A more natural look wouldn't hurt anyone.

I had to post this photo not because of Jewel's pretty gown but because her boobs are so wonky! It pains my own chest to see hers. Does Jewel have implants? If so, they are in danger of being compressed and exploding.

Heidi Klum's dress is a gorgeous shade of blue, is it not? But the real reason for this photo is that Project Runway will be on next week and I can't wait! I'm turning the phone off, getting a glass of wine, telling the kids to leave me alone, I will be sitting on the couch ready for the new season at 8:59 on the 14th. Are you in?

I'd say something snarky about Georgio Armani's leathery skin but then he might not invite me out on his yacht this winter for a lovely cruise around the Mediterranean. Instead, I'll advise Fergie not to part her hair in the middle, few people can pull that off.

Eva Mendes looks so pretty.
Two thumbs up on the makeup and hair and the buttercup shade of the dress.

Cindy, Cindy. Botox in the ol' forehead, eh? Don't lie. Cindy Crawford is aging well for fifty, yes? Remember when she was the hottest thing around?

Angelina should always wear a cloche and long coat! I wish she would gain twenty pounds, she looks painfully thin in most photos I've seen of her lately. Even so, if she wanted to adopt me, I'd let her. I would cook her oatmeal with protein powder and fatten her up on homemade cookies.

Usually I don't get excited over Eva Longoria but I love the pink dress and pink makeup, the false eyelashes, the updo. If you can tell me what color that lipstick is, I would be grateful.
I love a nice pink, glossy lip.

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