Dancing With the Dolls
Did you happen to see Dancing with the Stars last night? The episode will haunt me forever. If you didnt see it then do your best to imagine Marie Osmond dressed as a gigantic baby doll. Marie had fluffy pig tails and round pink cheeks and eyelashes drawn on like Baby Jane. She had to mention that her "dance" was a tribute to the doll collectors, her fans! I think those porcelain dolls are super creepy like they are housing evil spirits and staring at me with their beady eyes. I always imagine doll collectors to be lonely old women with lots of cats or women like Candy Spelling who can have a Doll Room in their mansion. I wonder if Marie talks to her dolls? I bet she does.
I do cop to owning Donny and Marie dolls from the 70's. I gave Marie a nice hair cut with safety scissors when I was seven. Marie should have dressed her partner in a jumpsuit and purple socks and danced a tribute to the Donny and Marie Show. That would have been clever. Why didnt they consult me?
I'm predicting Mel B. for the win, Helio coming in second and Marie and her spooky dolls packing up to head back to Utah, land of the Osmonds and their big teeth.