Tuesday, December 04, 2007

Daily Dollfaces

If you squint, close your eyes, cross your eyes and look from a distance, sometimes (I've been told) that I look like Cate Blanchett.

You can just barely make out Carrie Underwood's bronze eyeliner. I wonder if it is MAC pigments there? Beautiful makeup but I hate hearing how unkind she is.

Oh Tara. I thought you were into healthy living these days? Guess not. Please send her the memo about sun damage.

SpiceWorld was the movie that changed my life. I do'nt think you could pay me to wear any of those outfits, not because they are hideous but because I would look awful in any of them. Hmmm, maybe the Baby Spice outfit minus those proctology gloves.

Everytime I see Renee Zellweger's new hair cut, I cringe. I'm back in seventh grade with a terrible 'do being called a chico instead of a chica in Spanish class.

Yes Rebecca Gayheart is beautiful but I ran into her in real life and she was as unfriendly as one of those chilly British soldiers who refuse to smile. I pet her little maltese dog and smiled at her and she was less than kind. I felt bad about myself afterwards. I'm really nice Rebecca, no need for the frosty attitude.

I'm still marveling at the medical miracle of how Nicole Richie actually got pregnant. I mean, 80 pound women usually have a hard time making babies.

I like a lot of height at the crown. Meanwhile, Madonna likes a flat top and puffy sides. That's the only difference between the two of us.

SEE? Heidi Klum is unable to go anywhere without her nannies!Gosh I'm really disliking those tin man shoes Heidi is wearing.

YAY! Kate Hudson is so cute. BOO! That better not be real fur or I will cease being a fan immediately.

Black stockings bring me back to the 1980's. I prefer a sexy fishnet.

Ah! Ugh! Oh! Err...My goodness, Joan Van Ark, what in the hell happened to her face? Did she get a burn, a chemical peel, a face lift? Does she have that condition where a virus eats your skin? I'm scared on so many levels.

Jennifer Garner is in danger of a good old fashioned nip slip if that dress goes any lower.

Jennifer Lopez looks fantastic in those soft tan shades of makeup. Admit it, we want to see her gain a lot of weight. All right, I kind of want to see her get fat because I have issues.

In real life I have heard that Fergie is as teeny as Nicole Richie. So remind me never to stand next to her or else I will look like a giant.

For some reason, I adore Eva Mendes. I dig her beauty because its not cookie cutter perfection.

I seriously don't know what my true hair color is, I haven't seen it since 1988. But I believe it might be the same color as Alicia Silverstone's.

I am very close to cutting my bangs like Charlize or Carmen. Its a tough decision because I will regret it once I do it. But I do need a change. But will I look more like Buster Brown than Charlize Theron?

Poor Amy. Here she is, supposedly sleepwalking in the street. She needs to be belted into her bed like in Mommie Dearest.

Things I learned today:

Britney Spears called Kevin up to join her at her birfday party. He said no. Yeah, where was my invite, Britney?

Janice Dickinson supports PETA and she is opening up a Latin Division of her modeling agency which is nice because I am half Venezulean.

Lindsay Lohan had a booty call with dirty, smelly Heath Ledger. I dont know if you can Febreeze people. But once I sprayed it on my dog.

Johnny Depp was signed on for Sweeney Todd before anyone knew if he could sing. Luckily, he can carry a tune.

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Blogger Brunhilda said...

I febreezed my dog once too. Glad to know I'm not the only one ;)

3:13 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

OMG, Joan Van Ark is so scary! Eek.


6:22 PM  
Blogger PrincessGreen17 said...

I LOVE Eva Mendes. I think she is so gorgeous!

11:20 AM  

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