Thursday, December 13, 2007

Daily Dollfaces

Tara Reid and I are from the same small town area in Northern New Jersey. That tidbit aside, she is three years younger than me but looks beat up and broke down. I want to force her to eat kale and drink carrot juice and nibble on whole grains, I want to slather her in sunscreen (not that I want to actually touch her though) and make her sleep eight hours a night. She looks about forty eight but I think with my help she can look like, forty three.

I think Keri Russell is way cuter than Chace Crawford or whatever that kids name is.

Vanessa Minillo is wearing the outfit de jour of Los Angeles chicks- oversized glasses (a must have) pointy heels, skinny jeans and bag large enough for Sean and Preston Federline to be carried around in.

Will and Jada. I am not going to see his new movie, I can't stand films about disasters and end-of-the world kind of stuff.

Please say it ain't so- Ryan Gosling and Michelle Williams have been spending time together. They've been "canoodling" that word makes me feel like a Cup O' Noodles for dinner.

It's so nice to see a supermodel actress with no makeup on!
Molly Sims is fresh faced out and about.

I would LOVE to have guns like Madonna's. But her hands look like one of those 3-d maps from geography class.

Lindsay Lohan and the tights again. Please! Linds, if you insist on wearing reindeer colored leggings, at least wear a long shirt. I have a feeling the scarf is hiding a camel toe.

Katie Holmes squints in the glare of the mothership.

I know people might be thinking: Kelly Clarkson is fat! She's not wearing makeup! Eww! But I LOVE her look. She's real and natural and not stick thin, plus the girl can sing better than almost anyone else.

I just read that Helena Bonham Carter farted on her costar during a love scene. How can you not look at her the same way again?

I have never seen that show, The Hills. I don't care about LC and all of those girls although I'm sure they are very nice. This is a picture of some girl with fake boobs named Heidi who really wants to be famous. I am in love with her cherry shirt and wonder where I can get one? That is the only reason I posted the picture.

Fergie models the other required outfit in LA, the ballet flats and scarf, of course you must have a large bag and the big sunglasses. Hair looks dirty but has to really be clean but styled as if to look unwashed, got it?

Amanda Lepore is the hottest thing at that party. Its really crazy how often the two of us are mistaken for each other.

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Blogger Joanna Schmidt said...

Lepore is scary looking. She looks like her plastic surgery gone very very wrong!

I love the fart scene. I wish I were a fly on the wall for that one!! he he.

9:14 AM  
Blogger Joanna Schmidt said...

English please? I really need to re-read my posts before hitting the button! Geeez.

9:14 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Gossiping over farts? It doesn't make me change my opinion of Helena Bonham Carter. My opinion of your blog, well, that's another story.

11:05 AM  
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