Monday, May 12, 2008

Daily Dollfaces

Paris Hilton should really let loose and dress like a skank once in a while. Here she is, coming out of church.

Michelle Williams and her daughter Matilda. Every time I see a trailer for the new Batman movie, I think about Heath Ledger saying how demanding the role of the Joker was. Sad! That little girl is adorable.
Caught in the act of nearly canoodling! Remember all those pictures of a pensive Jennifer Aniston staring out into the ocean? And John Mayer, he's so poetic ..."candy lips and bubblegum tongue" from Your Body is a Wonderland? Brilliant. I bet they have long conversations about nothing and write each other haiku's. Now he's officially dated everyone in Hollywood.

Imagine being on a movie set with these two clowns? I bet they had constant burping and farting contests. Cameron Diaz and Ashton Kutcher remind me of two enormous kids. I love Justin Timberlake's impression of Ashton on Saturday Night Live.

OMG! No wonder why Victoria Beckham always looks so grumpy, her feet have gone missing. I'd be pissed too!
Katie always has a vacant, glazed look in her eyes. Unfortunately, I don't think can get out of her binding contract at this point. Tom's tight pants and belt let me know he secretly loves country music. I always notice country singers wearing very tight jeans and belts.

It will be interesting to see what Shiloh looks like as she grows up. Will she be the most beautiful child we've ever seen? Will her inherited beauty blind us?
Raven Simone illustrates whats wrong with America, lazily using a segway instead of her own two feet. Can you imagine if we all used these things every time we needed to walk somewhere?I hope this is a picture from a movie and not how she gets around in real life. I saw security guards at the airport with these things and chuckled to myself.
I bet they travel with an entourage that stays out of camera range, don't you think? Gwen and Gavin with their son Kingston take in a day at the zoo. Gwen does a great job of looking cute while pregnant, always wearing those diaphanous dresses.

Its a shame Heidi Klum can't play on the beach with her kids without getting her photo taken. Oh well, thats the price you pay to be a celeb, right? I was reading that Heidi had her implants taken out and that she got a tummy tuck too.
Angelina and her daughters dressed in black are too sweet for words. Zahara has always been so cute and I imagine her to be spunky and sassy. Shiloh is the prettiest baby in Hollywood. I am amazed that Angie's skinny body can carry twins! Twin girls if the gossip is to be believed.
Lindsay Lohan finally debuts her line of streetwalker clothes! Haven't we been waiting for this moment for so long? Now I have an appropriate outfit for strolling the boulevard. Check out the chick with the knee pads sewn right into her leggings. She can get down on her knees-for gardening of course- with ease. Heavy eyeliner and bleached hair optional- but highly recommended!

Keira Knightley is stunningly gorgeous here, the bone structure and pouty lips, her beautiful dark brown eyes...all amazing. But then she opens her mouth and something weird happens. Like her teeth and jaw are all jacked up.

Jennie Garth is that you? Doesn't she remind you of every soccer mom you've ever seen on a Saturday morning? I can just imagine her going off to work part time at an office where low heeled pumps and knee length skirts are all the rage.

Jamie Lynn Spears looks thrilled to have her photo taken as she exits her Range Rover. I'd be embarrassed too, being caught driving a huge gas guzzler during this time. Get a hybrid, Jamie! Also, her face reminds me of Elvis.

Sarah Jessica usually looks terrific but not so much here. Who am I to judge? I'm wearing sweatpants and pimple cream.
Katie Price looks like she took a trip into a deep fryer and got poured into Linday Lohan's leggings on the way out. Her husband has a unique look all his own.
photos, justjared,jjb,ohnotheydidnt,wireimage


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