Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Daily Dollfaces and one mutant insect alien

Here's Rumer Willis, channeling her inner Ashlee Simpson. I had a pleather jacket like that when I was a teenager and my mom's friend took one look at me in my tough (but cheap) jacket and said to my mom, "Oh...I'm so glad I have boys!"
Jenny McCarthy looks fantastic in that shade of green. I love it! Hair, makeup, everything looks perfect.

Tear your eyes away from Beck's hideous suit and check out the non-heels of the extremely ugly boots Victoria is wearing. I suppose they use hidden suspension technology, such as that of an earthquake friendly building. She's creeping along like a mutant insect-alien.

Speaking of aliens... who's dressing Tom these days? Clearly its not Rachel Zoe. She'd never pair that jacket with jeans! Horrible! I can't stand the way he holds Katie's hand when they walk, as if he's guiding her. Can she not find her own way?
When I saw Dita Von Teese with that jaunty little top hat, I immediately had flashbacks of this Charlie McCarthy puppet we had in the house growing up. I don't remember why we had it, I just recall my baby sister being deathly afraid of him. So I'd pull him down from the closet for laughs. That was so mean!
Dita needs a monocle, don't you agree?

Just out for a stroll...wearing stilettos? Zac and Vanessa only have to continue this dating charade until High School Musical 3 comes out in October then she can go ahead and date a Jonas brother. You know who is committed to seeing HS3 already? Me! My daughter cannot wait to see this film.
I like Sarah Michelle Geller although I don't think she needs all three names. She lives her life, out of the public eye and doesn't go out and make a fool of herself or blab her business to the tabloids. She shows up at events and usually looks nice, she seems down to earth.
I like those funky shoes, I want a pair to wear with jeans.

So cute! Rachel McAdams is totally pretty in pink. Her complexion is beautiful in that pink shirt. I prefer her as a blonde but she didn't consult me before dying her hair. She should have. I would have recommended a golden blonde. But when you're as gorgeous as her, you can do anything.

Kate Moss in zebra pants! She could hide out at the zoo and blend right in. I usually dig her style but I'm going to have to pass on the animal print.
All of these photos of Jennifer Aniston have been popping up-Jen in Mexico in a green bikini, alone. Jen at the beach, alone. Jen laying in the sun with a bucket of ice waters and sun tan lotion, alone. Who travels to Cabo by themselves? I'm sure there's a friend or two around but all pictures indicate she's going solo.
I'll be her friend. I think we would get along great. We could do yoga and eat Mexican food together and gossip like girlfriends are prone to do. We'd shop and laugh! She'd produce my screenplay and I'd earn millions of dollars.

Wow, that's a heavy load of makeup Jennifer Lopez is sporting. Everything would be better if the lipstick was subtle. When your lipstick is thick like her's, that's usually when it migrates to the front teeth. I get the feeling none of her assistants would tell her if her teeth were red. They'd laugh behind her back.
Now you can get the full scope of the dress, makeup and hair all together. The dress is kind of cute but it looks bunched up in the front.
Heather Graham, so cute! I love that vivid yellow dress.

Because what's better than one photo of David Beckham in an ugly suit? Two photos!
The tie, shirt and vest/pants are all clashing. Its a black and white pattern overload. Plaids and checks and stripes...and this is supposed to be a very fashion forward couple?
There was only one time in my life when I needed help walking and it was when I was an infant. Why does Britney need assistance? Like Katie Holmes, she must be guided.
I'd love to send Britney away for about a year and totally revamp her image. I'd lose the weave, toss the old jeans and turn her into an elegant woman. It would be My Fair Lady...only My Fair Britney. Oh no, suddenly I have a vision of a new reality show....

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