Monday, November 10, 2008

Daily Dollfaces

Check out my review of this book on Page 2

" It's Miley!... It's a felony!"

Anyone else watch The Soup?

Ugh! Mickey Rourke looks like a leather glove that was left out over the long cold winter then burned over the long hot summer and grilled like a hot dog. And driven over with a tractor trailer a few times. Then spun out in the dryer.
You're probably wondering if I look as stylish as Seal and Heidi as I trapse through the airport. Well, the answer is.. of course! Leather bag? ha! It's a canvas backpack for me!

High heeled boots? Please. I only wear sneakers in case I have to break into a sprint. Tight pants? No yeast infection for this girl. Tight pants will do that to you. I wear sweatpants. Cat shirt? Nah, its a stained GAP shirt from four years ago! Uncomplicated and not the least bit sexy- its just how I roll.

Lucy Liu picked out a great dress- or is she styled by Rachel Zoe? I now know that celebs have their stylists chose all dress, shoes and accessories for all events and press junkets. Speaking of Rachel, when will her show be back on? I'm going through withdrawls.

What would your response be if you saw Mary Kate Olsen in the flesh? The world would stop as I stared at her, taking in every nuance like the socio/anthro/biologist-student of all humans that I am. I expect she would be small in stature, fascinating as she sucked on her cigarettes and balanced enormous glasses on her elfin face.

Yeah yeah, John Mayer, whatever! I'm zeroing in on the dude in the UFC shirt. My husband loves the UFC. I feel like every darn weekend we're watching half naked guys wrestle each other to the ground with their faces in each other's crotches! I'd bite down. CHOMP.

Bring me my diamonds, bitch!
I believe Kimora says those words daily without a trace of irony/sarcasm.
I applaud Jessica Biel for going out in public without a lick of makeup on her face. But let's be honest, I've seen the photos of her as a teen and she's had lip injections and a nose job!

Helena Bonham Carter always looks like she's two steps from eating at the soup kitchen but her baby, Nell, is gorgeous. I love chubby healthy babies!
I think the photo-retoucher just swapped out Mariah Carey's head for Whitney's. A lazy day at the studio. Every diva needs an album cover with a thigh-high bathing suit and endless legs. Mine's being put together as I type this.

I want to say that Heidi Klum looks a wee bit frightening without her makeup but the truth is that I'd look like a scary monster from a horror film in comparison and thats WITH my makeup.
Careful on those spiked heels, Eva Longoria! I'm going to admit something to you- I think she's hilarious on Desperate Housewives.

Demi and Ashton! They look cute and happy.

Britney and her son, Baby Cheeto. I just remembered Fudgie the Whale for some reason. Probably because I have no problem imagining Britney ordering up one at Carvel.

Ohhhh, someone needs an oil blotting paper or maybe some powder! Catherine Zeta Jones has quite a shine going on. Where is her personal assistant to carefully remove that excess grease?

hello Beyonce! What a great dress she is wearing. Very elegant. I'm not sure about the shoes though. I'd recommend a black suede platform heel.
Fantastic color on Alicia Keys. She is beautiful. Lovely eyes, great smile.
And what talent, she's so lucky!


Blogger Marina said...

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Marina (from France)

2:06 PM  

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