Thursday, November 20, 2008

Daily Dollfaces

Can you imagine walking through the airport and having security escort you because hundreds of people are grabbing their cell phones and cameras as you walk by...I mean, it happens to me sometimes but to be Gwen Stefani and have hords of weary travelers calling your name, taking your picture... that would suck! But then you retreat to your mansion, hand the kids off to the nanny and go upstairs to count your millions and it's all worth it. I guess.
I'm not thrilled at Rihanna's choice of dress, it kind of looks like someone is grabbing her side or clutching at the fabric with an oversized brooch. I'm going to give her a pass today though because I'm feeling generous in my critiques and I have a headache.

I'm giving actress Monet Mazur's outfit two snaps, a golden egg and a Hostess cupcake. Cute dress, love the belt and I applaud the strappy shoes and simple bag.

The good: Kelly Ripa's cute coat. Love it!
The bad: Madonna's Easy Turf dress. She's fifty years old and wearing fake grass? We could play a round of miniature golf on her body. Beware of her "sand trap"!

And the ugly: Mickey Rourke. Do I even need to point out the multitude of sins going on in this one picture?

I don't understand the point of view with this outfit. Katie's shorts seem to say "summer" while the sweater vest/ cardigan say "granny." Her boots scream out "disco fever" and the tight remind us of "school girl chic" and the Birkin bag is clearly "money!" All together, the ensemble cries out "Scientology!" / "fashion victim!"
Even wearing very little makeup Kate Winslet is beautiful. I know she had a beef with Vanity Fair for airbrushing the heck out of her photo spread but really, they can barely improve upon what nature has blessed her with which is a lovely face, pretty eyes and creamy skin.

When I attend an event, I always agonize over what to wear. I want to look my best at all times (in public- private is another story). I suppose Julia Stiles didn't get the memo. Julia would like us to believe she's beyond getting all gussied up for an affair and that she's so not into aesthetics that she'd show up in rumpled jeans and a shirt. A black shirt with a white bra no less.

Remember when Helena Christiansen was thebomb back in the day? She was in the Chris Isaak's Wicked Game video, back when there were videos. Are there still music videos around?
She's still cute, I'm not crazy about the scarf but it might be a case of function over form so I'll let it pass. This time.

If I knew Frances Bean, I would probably be obnoxious and annoying and call her Frances Beanie or Franny Bean-O. She has stunning eyes, doesn't she? Her and Kelly Osbourne look like they should be distant cousins with their goth black hair, powdery white skin and red lips.

Oh thank you! I feel so much better about myself after seeing Eva Longoria wearing these Spanx! Im not the only one who struggles with pudgy, doughy thighs?

Young unidentifiable actress no. 413. Her name is Camilla Belle and she's dating a Jonas Brother. That's all I've got. Her pink lipstick clashes with her makeup, not to mention the red carpet. I see where she's coming from with the dress, trying to show off her youthful figure but goodness, the shoes! It looks like toilet paper got stuck on the back of them.

Part of me feels sorry for Britney, the other part of me is cracking up at the unflattering picture. I think I've had that sick-drunk-tired look on my face many many times!

What do you do when your stone washed jeans bust at the seams? Nothing! These really are vintage; check out the zippers on the ankles. Amy Winehouse is bringing the 80's back. In her hair.
photo credits- faded youth, jjb, dlisted and onnotheydidnt