Thursday, January 22, 2009

Daily Dollfaces

I was reading a magazine recently and there were photos of Tom Cruise, sort of a 'then and now' kind of thing. Let's just say the women in Hollywood aren't the only ones getting fillers and botox. Mr. Cruise has been stealthily visiting the plastic surgeon's office too.

Kate Beckinsdale looks adorable and casual. But the tank with the knitted beanie is an oxymoron. Why would you pair a heavy hat, sole purpose to keep your head warm, with a tank top, designed to keep you cool? It's like wearing corduroy pants and flipflops.

I'm not jumping for joy over this photo of Scarlett Johansson. I think the bold red in the other ad suited her much more than the pale pink which washes out her lip color. Maybe it's me. Maybe I just want to star in a makeup ad! Yes, that must be it!

Pepto Pink gets passed around- Kelly Osborne, Lindsay Lohan and now Rihanna. Its the shade of the season, apparently. I think her false eyelashes are coming off, something looks off kilter with her eye.

Mandy Moore! Love her. She's a UFC fan, just like my husband. Sometimes we host the pay-per-view matches at our house and I die of boredom. I try to head out to the movies when these occur.

Hello, would you like lung cancer? Yellow teeth? Stained palms? A raspy voice? Do you want to smell like a dirty ashtray? Do you enjoy allowing others to inhale your second hand smoke? Is your skin dry and leathery? Then you might be Katherine Hiegl.
Dear Katherine,
You are a lovely girl and I enjoy your movies. Please stop smoking.
Love, Dollface

Heather Locklear, take a memo on this tip- I personally do not wear shoes that show my feet unless my toenails are painted. I feel like a farm hand or something when I am in flipflops and I look down and there's my naked toenails, staring up at me, ignored and un-pedicured. Imagine Heather now with deep red polish, isn't that better? A beautiful woman, she would do well to lay off the facial fillers, her cheeks look puffy. But that could just be the toenails talking.
Counteney is so gorgeous, flawless skin. First the good news-black is her color. Now the downside- I'm not wild about the pantyhose with open toe shoes, I will have you know that. She might give fishnets a whirl. And a smaller evening bag would have made me happier. But she's the one wearing the scarf, not David- take note, Brad! (he's an avid hello dollface fan!)
Oh Carnie Wilson! The spandex wouldn't do any of us favors but you know what? Here is REAL woman who is working out, struggling with her weight like oh, maybe the 95% of us who aren't celebrities!
As she ages, Ashley Judd is looking more and more like her mother! Looks like a used tissue on her dress but the makeup is so pretty.

I have a robe just like Angie's! Mine's pink. What? It's not a robe? Oh. I believe Angelina only operates in muted colors in a limited spectrum. Gray, white, beige and black is allowed. And while pashmina scarves are fun and practical for girls Bradley Buttons might rethink his choice. A set of ear muffs would keep him warmer and be way more trendsetting.