Monday, May 11, 2009

Daily Dollfaces

If I could get away with wearing bright red lipstick all the time a la Gwen Stefani, I would! Too bad I look completely washed up and tranny-like with colors besides pink or peach. By the way, I love seeing celebs with their kids but rest assured, the nanny is nearby!
Justin Timberlake can ditch the glasses, we know he's a "serious" musician. And comedian too. If the singing doesn't work out he can always work full time on Saturday Night Live. He's hilarious. Jessica would look gorgeous if she traded in that frosted lipstick for red. (See Gwen Stefani above)

Raise yo' hands! Dare I saw Paris Hilton looks pretty here? She does! I like her hair and makeup. Thank goodness she shaved her armpits, right?

Jennifer Garner and baby Seraphina! I think they call her Sera for short which sounds like Sara which is what my husband wanted to name our daughter.

I'm stressed out and anxiety riddled because I can't afford a surgery I need but Salma Heyak will never have to worry about paying for ANYTHING because she married a billionaire. She probably blows her nose on $100 bills! What would life be like if money were of no concern?

I think Kim Kardashian is so beautiful. Love the false eyelashes! Everytime I see her, the makeup is perfect. Of course when you're working with such a flawless canvas, would you expect anything less? I'd hate her if she wasn't so nice!

Helloooooo! How are you?
I want to cut Goldie Hawn's hair so badly. Do you think it would make front page news if she snipped her coif into something more modern? She needs a visit to the hairsdressed to bring her locks into the new millenium.

Eva Longoria. I think there's a sports guy named Evan Longoria. Whenever I hear it, I think of Eva. I want to ask my husband, "Any relatioship to Eva Longoria?" but the question would be met with a blank stare.

Demi Glaze, Demi Cup, Demi Moore.

Seal and Heidi Klum renwed their vows AGAIN! They do this every year and I'm never invited. Well, maybe next year. The theme this time around was White Trash. So you could either dress as Billy Ray Cyrus, wearing a possum mullet wig, or Britney Spears, donning coochie cutter shorts, (I know you have a pair!) Candies mules and a mesh half shirt. A bag of Cheetos would be optional but I think it'd really lend itself to making the costume real. I could have thrown together an awesome White Trash outfit. *sigh*
Wearing tight white jeans is like committing a crime against yourself. Unless you are Kate Moss-skinny, you should just stay away from these things. Usually every lump, bump, ripple and dimple is visible under the whiteness. Beyonce rocks it but just barely. There are some SPANX going on under those jeans.
Amazing that Avril's marriage to Mr. Whibley has lasted this long. I love his last name. Its so retro. I imagine a dude in Buddy Holly glasses, wingtips and a plaid suit when I hear it.
Are you shocked that Avril hasn't come out with a new album filled with angsty songs about marriage? The topics are endless: toilet stains, clothes on the floor, balled up socks, dirty dishes in the sink, unmade bed, ESPN on all day long with no one in the room... not that I know firsthand.