Saturday, June 13, 2009

Marla Martenson's Good Date, Bad Date

I've known Marla Martenson for a few years now and I adore her. She's smart and down to earth and cool. Plus she writes good books. And she's a matchmaker! Even though I'm not in the market for a man, I was captivated by Good Date, Bad Date.

I like the positive energy Marla possesses in her writing plus her encouraging words. And I really love the notion of love! I asked her a few questions because I knew my readers would be interested in what she had to say.

1. What is the trick to successful match-making?
People often ask me that question. They want to know if I have an intuition or a special skill to
match people up. Since I work in Los Angeles in a specialized service, the dynamics are a bit different. The men are looking for the hottest looking women possible and the women are looking for the most successful men possible. So for me, patience and not judging my clients is the trick.

2. Have you ever put two people together who were exact opposites and they clicked?
I have had women tell me that they are so happy that I did not show them a photo of
their match first because they never would have agreed to go out with him. I have
pushed people to be more open minded and meet someone that they normally wouldn't have selected to meet on their own and have ended in a wonderful match!

3. Why is love so hard to find?
I think that finding the right partner these days is harder than ever. I hear over and over from
my male clients that they are frustrated at how busy the women are. Most single women have to work long hours, sometimes even two jobs to make ends meet, some are also single parents as well which limits the time they have for socializing. I also think that in our throw away society, people aren't giving someone a chance. For example, the other day one of my male clients e-mailed me to say that he called the gal that I had matched him with but his call went to voice mail after two rings. He found that to be rude and didn't want to meet her. This could be a great match for him, he loved her profile and was very excited to meet her, but because in his mind, she put the call to voice mail, they will never meet. I encourage people to give someone a chance. If they say one wrong thing or have a bad hair day, don't write them off.

4. If you weren't a matchmaker, what would you be doing?
My first love is writing and acting. At the moment, I write some evenings and on the week-ends. Sometimes I can't believe I have managed to write three books while working full time.
If I were not working in the matchmaking field, I would write full time and also start auditioning again.

5. How long does it take for people to really fall in love?
Often people will think that they are in love when they are really in lust. The initial physical attraction is very powerful especially for women. There is a hormone called oxytocin which is released into the brain of the female during sexual activity which is important for forming a monogamous bond with her sexual partner. That is why women often stay with men who abuse them or are not right for them. Because they "love them." Women need to be very careful in selecting their partner and realizing the difference between love, mutual respect, and lust.

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